apathy and anger

An excerpt from this fabulous blog.
I've never been able to pinpoint that thing. but this is it.


there is a moment in most failed relationships when the person who knows you better than you know yourself, who you love beyond anything believable looks at you as if you are a stranger....
and not an interesting stranger, like someone you may see on the street for the first time, but a stranger who doesn't care to know you...with eyes full of apathy...

apathy hurts more than anger, doesn't it?

and in that moment, nothing you could do or say could change anything.
you wish you could climb inside his heart and brain and put those little grey's anatomy resuscitating paddles on them and jolt them back to life or shake some sense into him and show him pictures of his happy-in-love face and remind him that you're still you and he's still him and you're really good together...
but he's standing in front of you and he's gone all at the same time....

and your body knows before your brain thinks it.
your heart drops thru your stomach and your skin gets so sensitive you're afraid if he touches you, you may just bruise, or bleed, or crumble.

i've probably been on the giving end of that dynamic but i can't shut off instantaneously.
if i love you, i will always love you-even if i can't keep you.
but men (and some women, sure), have a special ability to switch it off and walk away-tra-la-la... washing their hands of you and already on to the next...
i often wish i could do that too... wouldn't life be so much easier?

i hate that part.

1 comment:

jacquelyn sandra said...

so in love with the line "if he touches you, you may just bruise, or bleed, or crumble." beautiful, really.