hi

4.24.2013

on home..





I'm in an uprooted time of life. A period when everything seems in-between and wait-until and after-this-but-before-that.  It’s the details that settle into the curves of life that I've clung to this past year. 

Last summer in Houston it was the creaky front gate, the bellowing frogs in the flowerbeds, and wafting of chlorine from the pool.

London's door plaque -- 27 -- the bakery off the Notting Hill tube stop, the coffe cart on the corner of Bayswater and Queensway, and the wrought iron railing. 

Then, this difficult winter semester in Provo. I'll remember trekking up the stairs, the tv-turned- fish tank softly glowing behind me.  I'll remember my puppy calendar and the Monet poster on the overhang above my bed.  I'll recall switching off weeks for the parking spot and planning Sarah's wedding on our beds. 

It's been a difficult winter.  But a winter for growth.  A winter for a better summer.

And I'll remember the good little things. 









4.23.2013

on bodies.



I want to talk to our world -- the world of the teen and 20-something females -- about bodies. Our bodies.

This isn't another post spewing anti-Victoria's Secret propaganda and patting you on the back, asserting in soothing tones that "it doesn't matter if you're 60 pounds overweight! You're perfect however you are!"

And it's not a post condoning the severely fallacious images presented to us by the media.

I intend for this post to address what I perceive to be a loss of balance.




It's a big part of our reality, body image.  Whether we openly acknowledge that or not, physical appearance is important. But not just for appearance -- not only for the concoction of attributes we piece together to form us, in order to have us to present to others. It's important for health and being wholly happy.  For looking, but more importantly feeling, our best.

I find myself disheartened -- and frankly, annoyed -- by the amount of what I can only call backlash.... I suppose what I call the anti-skin-and-bones campaign. In no way do I excuse the media for their objectification and exaggeration of women's bodies. That should indeed be fought against.

But I can't help feeling that there's a proper way to do it.

There seems to be no middle ground anymore  (at least in words and outward attitudes -- I don't claim to speak for anybody else's thought process).  We seem to be so anxious about calories that we can't enjoy eating at all, or so obsessed with fighting the unachievable standards and standing as symbols of reality that everything becomes exaggerated.  We tell ourselves it's really okay to constantly indulge, because we're showing the man! Let's stick it to him! Queen's fat-bottomed girls unite!  We try to one-up each other with how many pieces of pizza we ate, and tease anyone turning down sweets about being "anorexic." We joke that the only way we work out is lifting our fingers from the Cheeto bag to our mouths.  We satirically brag about sitting on the couch all day.

Forget about calories and fat. What about the sugar and the chemicals that our body can't break down? In my opinion, the eating disorder counter-culture can be damaging too. It promotes a lifestyle that isn't good for our bodies.... and wasn't the whole point of the movement to be good to ourselves?

There's a way to promote a balanced lifestyle. Let's promote healthy, not anti-skinny.

My stunning mother is 48 (sorry, mom) and has a rockin' body. Do you know why? Because she works so. incredibly. hard for it.  She runs. She bikes.  She cooks vegan a few nights a week. She forgoes dessert and orders kale salads at birthday celebrations.  And you know what? She does it (mostly) to feel good, not to look good. Her way of life isn't for everyone, but find what makes your body feel good and DO IT.

Work out. It doesn't matter what -- get moving.  Dance. Walk.
Pass on the soda when you're out at dinner, and then say yes to a cookie after school.
Balance.


No more body-bashing because we don't look like airbrushed models.
And no more out-eating each other just to prove a point.
Deal?





meg fee writes a lot on body image and health. 

I like this post by this brilliant girl





4.22.2013

things ive been saying far too much as of late

(dedicated to my new favorite hashtag, #finalsmademedoit)
retro sweatshirt, patterned leggings and the side braid making a comeback.
I thought I buried this look after senior year.
Resurrected.
 #finalsmademedoit

..................................

"Sarah. You're getting married. Sarah. You are GOING TO MAKE A BABY."

"I can't stop listening to the Macklemore station on Spotify. Why. I hate this music. Turn it up."

"Stale cookies for breakfast.... again. Please bless that this will strengthen and nourish my body and turn me into Blake Lively."




aaand...








the first one.


4.19.2013

cheers to my bad A persona.







Last weekend I played my first game of Texas Hold 'Em.  And won.  Underestimated me, didn't you. 

"Oh, the pretty blonde can't lie."   
"Oh, Paige is too sweet to be good at poker." 
"Anybody who took 7 AP tests isn't capable of letting loose." 

I like black. Did you know that? 
Leather
& combat boots
& black on black on black.

Watch this:  ****


..................................






(This post inspired by the realization that I forgot to pay taxes on my tiny income sooooo I'll probably go to jail. It's been real.)





4.10.2013

look, it's not that I don't like Canada.

Friend:   "I always know when girls want to go out with me because they all do."

 ++++++++++++++

Friend:  "Tap dancing in his roller skates? Like who does that? Gene Kelley?"

 ++++++++++++++

Friend:    "...and then I found out my boyfriend is gay. Well was gay. I mean he's still gay but we're not     dating anymore."

Me:        "It's because he's Canadian."




Look, I'm not a hater.
I actually think Canadians have very interesting vowel charts.
See?









Some fine Canadian rising right there.
Spoken like a true Linguistics major.






4.09.2013

April and the bad luck mocassins.


this april has been bursting with color and gray.
color from general conference. color from blooming flowers and caring friends and puppy calendars and new nail polish (obsessed with Revlon's matte top coat).
and the gray. the anxiety. the weather.

totes apologies for wearing my bad luck mocassins again and ruining the rays. 
luckily the canary-yellow bushes are in bloom on campus and my birthday roses cheer up any room.









I think I'm turning into Meg.  Unfortunately I haven't acquired her wit (or handsome husband or wonderful taste), but I'm having a spring fling with nail polish. We'll see if it lasts.  I've heard I'm hard to please.




And partying with my people for any occasion, really.
Birthdays, marriages, whatever floats ya. 










ps my friends allison & hannah are blogging about mormon girls with depression over here

4.08.2013

hashtag so blessed.

Last weekend I ventured down to sunny St. George with the family to celebrate my 20th amidst the palms and the red rocks.  Bike rides, tennis, and dirty diet cokes from Swig ensued.

I love my family. And my life.














4.04.2013


I don’t want just words. If that’s all you have for me, you’d better go. - F Scott Fitzgerald.  






via 



on my half-pint amount of sagacity.


1+    it's okay-- no, vital -- to be you. to be you beautifully and utterly, without justification.
2+    your mother is your biggest advocate and best friend, if you will let her be.
3+    great things come from the small things ventured.
4+    date the hell out of a lot of great men and don't regret it.
5+    be a lady with edge. wear dresses. be gracious. cuss occasionally. (see four)




6+     God is there. always. and He loves you. always.
7+     wordlessly demand respect and you will receive it.
8+     take care of your body and the respect and appreciation will come.
9+     rain is not an inconvenience.  it's a fresh start to the day.
10+   don't limit yourself to friends just like you.  choose people to broaden your views.


11+    be humble. understate. 
12+    be bold. flaunt. 
13+    the past is past. let it be. 
14+    do things you wouldn't.   
15+    go anywhere you haven't. 


16+    be opinionated. be boundless. suffocate the apathy with passion.
17+    choose to have love so vast that your heart can't hold it.  let it spill.  be kind.
18+    we're all a little weird, or a lot weird.  find people who love your weird.
19+    open yourself to learning. consciously and deliberately stretch your mind.
20+    the world doesn't end.
          those nights the blood sits heavily in your veins and your bones splinter
          and you know you won't make it..... you will.  you always will.

                 so have a little faith.