am I numb.

This heartbreak has been different.

I knew it was likely to come (here)

After the event,
I sobbed for an hour. My friends held me and told me it was okay to cry. I let my body shake and cleanse.


Stared at the mirror.
Washed my face.
Put makeup on.

And went to a birthday party.

The next morning I Lysol-wiped the kitchen floor for three hours in my underwear, Christmas music blaring.  (weird similarity here)

By 4p.m. I needed to….I needed to….I don’t know what I needed to do. But I went to Sonic and ordered a dirty DC (just like me) and a double bacon cheeseburger (not like me.) I sat in the Macey’s parking lot and waited for the inevitable wave of regret. 

It never came.

So I walked into the supermarket and bought myself flowers.
Sometimes that’s okay.

And I don’t know if I’m running to or running from

but I need to keep running.


Emma Jane said...

This isn't a gorgeous subject but your words sure are gorgeous. I've known this feeling and I send all of my good thoughts your way.

Tightrope to the Sun

courtneykearns said...

Oh, my Paige. In less than 200 words (I know because I plugged them into my word count) you managed to both break my heart and rile me up at the same time. A packed few paragraphs of concrete details that bite. Once again, I am blown away.

Brit. said...

this is beautiful. I've been there before and wouldn't wish it on anyone, I'm so sorry.