dear body.

I'm sorry about the nail-biting. And the lip-biting. And the cheek-biting.

Thank you for throwing tantrums after I give you fast food.  You always tell me what's right and what isn't; I'm not always the best listener, but I'm trying.

You're a champ, you know that?  Those weeks with consistent four-hours-of-sleep nights (um. every week)...you come out just fine. Not a sniffle or a whine, and I could just kiss you for it.

Remember when the boy I was kissing on got mono? And we were all, well, we're probably sunk already so....why stop now? So I made the plainly rational decision and continued onward kissing and I magically didn't get mono?  It was like, seriously. the. coolest. of you to do that.

Oh, yeah. And remember when I stayed up for 42 hours and I still made you go to weight training and spin class and you were like, we got this, trick. And I was like, is there nothing you can't do?

Your tolerance for caffeine is astounding, boundless, and greatly appreciated. I promise to stop pounding it when I'm not in 18 credits/3 councils and trying to date/fulfill my calling and be a good family member/friend/roommate/human being. I promise I'll get better. Please be patient?

Thanks for the bum. I used to mentally assault you because it seems that no matter how much I slim down, my butt.....doesn't.  Finding pants that fit short, petite legs and a JLo booty is an Olympic sport, I tell ya, Jose.  But then the right kind of guy came along and declared it to be a really nice ass.....et. Maybe my best, even. And I realized he was kind of right.

I'm sorry for the abuse. "I'm sorry I ruined your lives, and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR." Except like, you're the VCR.  You're so wonderful and strong and healthy.  I know how important it is to take care of you, and I won't ever have three doughnuts for dinner ever again. Probably. I don't even like doughnuts.

Less dessert, more kale, I vow! This week I'm going meatless; next week, S U G A R. Wish me luck.


Unknown said...

Your blog is the best blog out there Paige. Just had to tell ya.

My name is Lydia said...

haha! you are hilarious. love it. also, YOU DIDN'T GET MONO?! you are superwoman.